The Quick and the Dead

Dreamhost decided to revert my database back to just before I finished this post, effectively unpublishing it and returning the rest of my typos. I thankfully left it open in a browser on my laptop. So this post is now amazing, not because it’s any good, but because it survived being put down like a sick dog. It gets to live.

I’m on hold trying to straiten out 3 of 4 billing snafus companies have me in. The first two were easy, this one Broadvoice is just not answering their phones and I can’t get into their website. They do my business phone line and they can suck it.

I’ll call them back later, Next up is Sprint who’s been charging me for insurance even though I’m not eligible. This exact thing happened the last time I lost my phone. I figured they messed up and insured me anyway, and I was able to get a 3rd replacement phone, but only because they continued to charge me after I wasn’t eligible. Don’t ask about the other two, but the 3rd phone was lost at a concert. Oh.. faithless was worth it… but maybe not if they didn’t replace my phone for $50 bucks. They made it very clear that they were being nice and I’d have to wait a long long while to be eligible for insurance again. (A year or two?) So while there’s a chance I’m currently eligible, I haven’t been all this time and they never stopped charging me.

Which allows me to convolutedly tie this all back to the title of this post and the very excellent movie.

The Quick and the Dead

The Quick and the Dead Cast

Quick Story Overview

Gene Hackman and his wicked henchmen Gene Hackman is a misundersood former bandit who’s given up his life of crime and settled in a failing town. He’s taken over and provided it with a thriving entertainment industry. The problem is people in the town are bitter about his violent past and want to steal his money. They hire quick draw assassins to take him out so they can take his former ill gotten gains for themselves. This of course has made Gene Hackman paranoid and he has hired bodyguards to protect him and vital town locations like where he keeps his money, the clock tower, and the saloon.

He even lets his son Leonardo DiCaprio run the local gun store. They have a strained relationship but what father and son has never gone though a rough patch? Eventually Sharon Stone shows up and convinces them to fight to the death. They both die. The end.

Nah Most of that is lies. I’m really good at reciting movies, but I have to tell you it’s a lot more fun to make shit up. The movie is good, really good. It’s a western about Sharon Stone coming back to avenge her father and most of the movie she’s like this;

Sharon Stone is Awesome

And then at the end she suddenly becomes the 80s;

Sharon Stone is awkward with lots of hair.

Which doesn’t break the movie, but not growing up watching Sharon Stone movies confused me a little. Apparently her hair is her thing.

Umm so Gene Hackman is a twisted baddass and makes everyone fight to the death because he runs things, has henchmen, and is an ass hole. I bring this up because if me and Sprint where in this town, I’d gladly shoot them in the chest a few times.

Everyone (who matters anyway) is a baddass in this film. I’ll leave you with that remark a picture of Russel Crow. Oh and this guy was part of the film and really enjoyed it.

And now to go back to dealing with Sprint.. I really posted this so I didn’t have to look at that god dammed stupid cover of 21 dog years whenever I looked at my site.

Citizen Kane (The union forever)

The Union Forever
Words and Music by Jack White
Consists primarily of extracts from
The film “Citizen Kane” released in 1941
Written by Orson Welles and Herman J. Mankiewicz
This post mostly written by Patrick Ferris and stolen from Broken Bricks

*Update* A video showing a lot of these parallels.


It can’t be love `1
For there is no true love `2
It can’t be love
For there is no true love

Sure I’m C.F.K. `3
But you gotta love me `4
The cost, no man can say `5
But you gotta love me

Well, I’m sorry but I’m not interested in
Gold mines, oil wells, shipping or real estate `6
What would I liked to have been?
Everything you hate `7

‘Cause it can’t be love
For there is no true love
It can’t be love
For there is no true love

There is a man `8
A certain man
And for the poor you may be sure
That he’ll do all he can
Who is this one
Whose favorite son
Just by his action has the traction
Magnets on the run?
Who likes to smoke
Enjoys a joke
And wouldn’t get a bit upset
If he were really broke?
With wealth and fame
He’s still the same
I’ll bet you five he’s not alive
If you don’t now his name

You said, “The Union forever” `9
You said, “The Union forever”
You cried, “The Union forever”
But that was untrue, girl


`1 “It can’t be love”
Performed by Bob Haymes and The Vagabonds in 1944 (after “Citizen Kane”)

`2 “It can’t be love / For there is no true love”
SINGER: It can’t be love for there is no true love, no true love
I know I’ve played at the game like a moth in a blue flame
Lost in the end just the same, just the same
All these years my heart’s floating around in a paddle of tears

`3 “C.F.K.”
Charles Foster Kane

`4 “But you gotta love me”
Kane: Whatever I do, I do because I love you.
Susan: You don’t love me. You want me to love you. “Sure, I’m Charles Foster Kane. Whatever you want, just name it and
it’s yours. But you’ve gotta love me!”

`5 “The cost, no man can say”
NARRATOR: For wife two, one-time opera singing Susan Alexander, Kane built
Chicago’s Municipal Opera House. Cost — Three million dollars.
Conceived for Susan Alexander Kane, half-finished before she
divorced him, the still unfinished Xanadu. Cost — No man can

`6 “I’m sorry, but I’m not interested…”
COWORKER: It’s from Mr. Kane.
SECRETARY: “Sorry. But I’m not interested in gold mines, oil wells, shipping or real estate.”
THATCHER: Not interested?

`7 “What would I like to have been? / Everything you hate”
THATCHER: Yes, yes. But your methods! Do you know, Charles never made a single investment? Always used money to–
KANE: To buy things. Buy things. My mother should have chosen a less reliable banker. Well, I always gagged on that
silver spoon. You know, Mr. Bernstein, if I hadn’t been very rich, I might have been a really great man.
THATCHER: Don’t you think you are?
KANE: I think I did pretty well under the circumstances.
THATCHER: What would you like to have been?
KANE: Everything you hate.

`8 “There is a man…”
SINGER: Good evening, Mr. Kane. There is a man.
DANCERS: There is a man.
SINGER: A certain man.
DANCERS: A certain man.
SINGER: And for the poor you may be sure that he’ll do all he can. Who is this one?
DANCERS: Who is this one?
SINGER: This favorite son.
DANCERS: This favorite son.
SINGER: Just by his action has the traction magnets on the run. Who loves to smoke?
DANCERS: Who loves to smoke?
SINGER: Enjoys a joke.
DANCERS: Ha ha ha ha.
SINGER: Who wouldn’t get a bit upset if he were really broke. With wealth and fame
DANCERS: With wealth and fame
SINGER: He’s still the same.
DANCERS: He’s still the same.
SINGER & DANCERS: I’ll bet you five you’re not alive if you don’t know his name.
KANE: I don’t know how to dance.
SINGER: What is his name?
BERNSTEIN: What is his name?
DANCERS: It’s Charlie Kane.
EVERYONE: It’s Mr. Kane. He doesn’t like the Mister. He likes good old Charlie Kane.
SINGER: Who said the Miss
EVERYONE: Who said the Miss
SINGER: Was made to kiss?
EVERYONE: Was made to kiss?
SINGERL: And when he meets one always tries to do exactly this. Who buys the food?
EVERYONE: Who buys the food?
KANE & SINGER: Who buys the drinks?
EVERYONE: Who buys the drinks?
KANE & SINGER: Who thinks that dough was made to spend and acts the way he thinks?
SINGER: Now, is it Joe? No, no, no, no.
EVERYONE: No, no, no, no….

`9 “The Union forever”
KANE (as a child): Come on, boys! The Union forever!
MRS. KANE: Be careful, Charles!

Donnie Darko, and the collapse of the “tangent universe”

This post is about my investigation to when the “Tangent Universe” collapses in the Movie “Donnie Darko”, assuming it’s a point in time. I mean, Frank the bunny gave Donnie a countdown, “That is when the world will end.”, so I’m going to assume that there is a moment when the event either starts or finishes. (And go away if you’re going to bring up time travel, I don’t care about the “Prime Universe” or “real universe” tonight. This is all about the tangents baby.)

Also I got to make this clear first, because I started to confuse myself. Midnight on a date is the very start of the day. In military time it would be 00:00:00 or normally 12:00am regular time.

Also despite obviously being California (I love the mountains) the movie is set in Middlesex Virginia, which during the month of October is EDT. (Just like now here in New York,)

Near the end of the movie, when the clock strikes midnight, the movie claims

October 30 1988

Which, seems wrong. I would argue 7 hours until the end of the world, but that “Six Hours Remain” may be until the start of the end or something. See at the beginning of the movie Frank the bunny calls Donnie out of his room, the clocks read midnight and the date given is,

October 2 1988

Frank has donnie walk to the golf course and then tells him that he has 28 days, 6 hours, 42 minutes, and 12 seconds left (28:06:42:12), assuming about 18 minutes to walk to the course, this places the end of the world around 7am.

The script (which I found online) says that sequence of events that end with the downed engine from Flight 2806 (with the mother and little sister, and I can assume all of “Sparkle Motion”) falls starts at exactly 6am. It could conceivably take an hour to complete, having to drive up into the mountains with an indeterminate amount of time passing with a montage, where we see people on the plane and Donnie’s flashbacks. Which would leave the collapse of the “Tangent Universe” at around 7am.

Now I’m going to apologize in advance for the next paragraph.

The website puts the end and collapse of the tangent universe at midnight on .. October 27th 2001 which is completely off base (by 3 days and 6 or 7 hours). Unless you look at the release date of the movie which is in October 28th, 2001 according to Wikipedia (the US release not the Sundance premier) and you can assume maybe that date was pushed back a day or something to coincide. (Wikipedia could be wrong besides.) But the 27th of 2001 was a Saturday and the 28th was a Sunday and in the past.. I don’t know 10 years I can remember, Movies have generally been released on Wednesdays or Fridays. So.. I might even think that these dates could be when the theaters receive the movies and not when they first play them. Of course it’s late, and I may not understand the intricacies of the movie system. Back to the main point, if you watched the movie in theaters that could be when the “tangent universe” first collapsed for you.

Seriously I apologize, I look at that paragraph and I don’t even want to proof read it.

So the ambiguity is that at midnight on October 30th the movie says 6 hours left when Frank and the sequence of events indicate 7 hours are left and the website says fuckall. (“I will not be afraid!”) Why does all this matter? I wanted to create a clock that gave the countdown to October 30th on the hour of the Collapse of the “tangent universe”. But since I’ve been trying to figure all this out I’m now up way later then I wanted to be and I’m probably not going to make this stupid clock tonight.

Good night, and thank you Richard Kelly for making a good movie, even if I have no idea what time things happened despite you riddling the script and movie with plenty of time notifications.

Also, In my searches I’ve found only one other site confused about this, and they didn’t care. I guess they weren’t trying to make a clock.


Pleix films

If people are going to read this I might as well write a little.

Pleix films
I found this site from stumble a few months ago. It’s got a bunch of weird and neat shorts heavily compressed and skillfully done. The kind of stuff I wish I could do on the weekends, without really having to get heavily into it. (But of course it requires a lot more work then that.) It’s art.

Today on Digg I found their “netlag” video (go to them to see it). Imagine you save the photos from hundreds of webcams all over the world and plot them so they’re a map of the world. And then play the photos in sync with each other, fast. Days become seconds and you see the sun rising and setting as the different cameras update their images.

We’re taken over North America and then to Europe and down to Hawaii. It’s really cool.


PS I asked them about a higher quality version, I’d love to host it (I didn’t tell them that) but if you’re from Pleix consider this my offer, I’ve got lots of bandwidth to spare. =)

Dr. Peper of Rotterdam

Jackie Chan‘s movie Who am I? is one of Jackie’s best. Now mind you.. he makes bad movies, but they’re a lot of fun. I’d pick this one way over something like The Medallion or The Tuxedo.

The best part (Jason just pointed this one out.) is that a “Dr. A. Peper” from Rotterdam is given thanks in the credits. I think he’s the mayor or something.

I could have cracked up for hours over that.

Dr. Pepper should not be confused with Dr. A Peper. While one is a nice “tart” drink, the other is a man I know nothing about. Please don’t try drinking the man or expect the drink to run the city of Rotterdam.

Super Size Me



So I learned some things from Super Size Me. (Available at any video rental store. And under documentaries on Showtime In Demand Specials.) The pretence. Morgan Spurlock a healthy man eats Mc. Donnalds

Eating McDonnalds every day for a month is really really bad for you.

He gained 12 pounds in first 10 days.

Eating will make you feel good too.

That’s not news. I’ve got a small weight problem, I weigh… 206 last time I checked. I don’t have a scale so I don’t have to know todays weight. I don’t really need to, I can tell if I’ve been eating too much, I can feel it. Food tastes good. (Usually) Pizza, pasta, hamburger, chicken. Heck, tomato sauce too. I love these things, the flavors on the mouth, the taste on the tongue and the instant satisfaction of a full belly. It’s addictive. And why not? Food is supposed to make us feel good isn’t it?

When your not eating, you’ll feel bad.

When you don’t eat healthy, you feel bad when your not eating. This guy got headaches as bad as migraines between meals. He was tired all the time, stopped being able to walk up the stairs to his apartment easily, and felt like crap, often. When he was eating he felt great, it was good to get some food into him. When he wasn’t on food he was depressed.

Other common effects from eating too much are Hypertension (75% of people can stop taking their hypertension medication after eating less, unfortunately these statistics came from a surgeon that specializes in reducing peoples stomachs to the size of baseballs.), high blood pressure, diabetes, heart disease, and liver disease.

The Surgeon General says 30 minutes of exercise a day is required to maintain a steady body weight. That’s 1/48th of a day it’s not a lot. I know that the steps for me to loose weight are simple. 1) Eat less, 2) Move more. That’s it. But that’s me, I should be able to drop 10 pounds in a couple weeks. I hope anyway. I mean I feel like I should be able to, I’ve lost weight before.

Other fun facts.

Children watch 3000 hours of food commercials a year. Parents eating every meal of every day with their children get around 1000 hours a year. So even if you enforced healthy eating and educated them

He gained 24 pounds in 30 days, his BMI went from %12 to %21, his liver hardened… His doctor said it was like he was on a drinking binge and if he didn’t stop drinking he end up dying.

It took him 4 months to loose most of the weight (10-20 pounds, I forget) and then another 9 to lose the remaining.

So I finished watching this and I think back to the other night when Andrew, Jason and I were hanging out. (As they read this they’re going “Oh no…”) We were hungry, it was late and none of us had really eaten much that day. So after spending some time at Home Depot we went to White Castle. We were filled with Regret afterwards. I mean it was tasty at first, but… we all felt sick later. I never want to do that again.

(After Morgan’s first supersized Big Mac meal (1st or 2nd day of the movie) he threw up out the side of his car.)

All I Want

Or Try Seventeen as it also goes by is an alright movie. It started kind of odd. “Jones” our protagonist played by Elijah Wood is a 17 year old kid who’s just arriving (alone) to college. He takes one look at his room mate and drops out and gets his own apartment. The Netflix sysnopsys says its to work on his writing skills but that’s wrong. Jones does write, letters to his unknown father. He comes up with some nice alternate versions of events to write about – these are portrayed in cut scenes that fail to convince me that Jones is imaginative and therefore should be a good writer.

He spends his time like any other kid with no plan and lots of money does, he learns how to work on cars, shoot a gun, open wine bottles (something I’ve had down since I was strong enough to open one – I used to beg to open them for my parents as a kid), and flirts with the two girls that live on the same floor at him. (Jane and Lisa or Franka Potente and Mandy Moore) Oddly enough he’s too young for Mandy Moore (born in 84 and 18 at the time of the movie) but ends up hitched with Franka Potente (born in 74 and 28 at the time of the movie) and Elijah Wood himself is actually older then Mandy (born in 81 and was 21 at the time of the movie – and in the movie he successfully argues that he’s 21 to a liquor store clerk. He claims he has a bone disease.)

I kept saying to myself that I recognized Jane from somewhere. As it turns out she’s the star of Run Lola Run.

I’ll give this movie a 3 out of 5. Mostly for potential. Maybe if it had a reworked last half hour that seamed plausible and didn’t seam rushed I’d give it more.


EDIT Lost about half my post there! All fixed.

Who has my Amelie?

It’s gone, I don’t know who has it. It’s a good dvd (double disks box set iirc) and an even better movie. And it can’t be argues that Audrey Tautou isn’t perfect for the role of Amelie in Amelie. Whatever catch her character has whether it be the “I caused trouble to help someone and it worked” smile, or her “I’m spying on people because I find their behavior facinating even though I know I shouldn’t spy on people.” grin (It’s ok, she’s harmless. sorta like a grown up Harriet the Spy – who btw has definitely grown up in the past 8 years – I always do this – Back on topic.), or maybe because she’s just cute in her ways, works perfectly.

I’d give Amelie 5 stars in my (new) little library program, if only I knew where my DVD was so I could catalogue it.

PS. Jason gave me a nice christmas idea, one I’d like to use too. (more on that later) Never mind I don’t bother giving winter gifts on a holiday. I may call them Christmas gifts (or if I remember Chanukah gifts) but really, around this time I try to find things that yell or scream about the person, and then I buy it. For for the 3 months of winter most of my friends get gifts. With the exception of famiy who normally gets gifts on Christmas due to the fact that if they have nothing under the tree from me I feel bad. (Tradition)

Also wether (a misnomer Frank pointed out to me) means “A castrated ram”.

I found it!

Kaena The Prophecy!!

I’ve had a picture from the downloads in my picture folder from a long time ago, back when the movie was a small independent “off the shelf” production. Apparently they were all… umm not out, on production software so they could afford to do the project, I guess. Honestly it was a long time ago, nice to see it’s finally released.

It’s French “Kaena: La prophÈtie”.


You all remember that car commercial I posted about a week or two ago? Well apparently the link to the movie has circulated around the web a bit. I’ve had more traffic to my site then ever before. To the point where today I hit 80% of my bandwidth limit. In fact this month’s usage has been 7 times any other month.

Well I found out why. which boasts “Boredom Reduction Is Just A Click Away! Visit These Incredibly Un-Boring Sites” linked directly to the movie. Apparently its a semi popular site. It generated 1240 hits on the movie.

Well they’re going to have to read my post about it before viewing the image now.

Anyway I’m pleased I’ve been been main stream before.