The Quick and the Dead

Dreamhost decided to revert my database back to just before I finished this post, effectively unpublishing it and returning the rest of my typos. I thankfully left it open in a browser on my laptop. So this post is now amazing, not because it’s any good, but because it survived being put down like a sick dog. It gets to live.

I’m on hold trying to straiten out 3 of 4 billing snafus companies have me in. The first two were easy, this one Broadvoice is just not answering their phones and I can’t get into their website. They do my business phone line and they can suck it.

I’ll call them back later, Next up is Sprint who’s been charging me for insurance even though I’m not eligible. This exact thing happened the last time I lost my phone. I figured they messed up and insured me anyway, and I was able to get a 3rd replacement phone, but only because they continued to charge me after I wasn’t eligible. Don’t ask about the other two, but the 3rd phone was lost at a concert. Oh.. faithless was worth it… but maybe not if they didn’t replace my phone for $50 bucks. They made it very clear that they were being nice and I’d have to wait a long long while to be eligible for insurance again. (A year or two?) So while there’s a chance I’m currently eligible, I haven’t been all this time and they never stopped charging me.

Which allows me to convolutedly tie this all back to the title of this post and the very excellent movie.

The Quick and the Dead

The Quick and the Dead Cast

Quick Story Overview

Gene Hackman and his wicked henchmen Gene Hackman is a misundersood former bandit who’s given up his life of crime and settled in a failing town. He’s taken over and provided it with a thriving entertainment industry. The problem is people in the town are bitter about his violent past and want to steal his money. They hire quick draw assassins to take him out so they can take his former ill gotten gains for themselves. This of course has made Gene Hackman paranoid and he has hired bodyguards to protect him and vital town locations like where he keeps his money, the clock tower, and the saloon.

He even lets his son Leonardo DiCaprio run the local gun store. They have a strained relationship but what father and son has never gone though a rough patch? Eventually Sharon Stone shows up and convinces them to fight to the death. They both die. The end.

Nah Most of that is lies. I’m really good at reciting movies, but I have to tell you it’s a lot more fun to make shit up. The movie is good, really good. It’s a western about Sharon Stone coming back to avenge her father and most of the movie she’s like this;

Sharon Stone is Awesome

And then at the end she suddenly becomes the 80s;

Sharon Stone is awkward with lots of hair.

Which doesn’t break the movie, but not growing up watching Sharon Stone movies confused me a little. Apparently her hair is her thing.

Umm so Gene Hackman is a twisted baddass and makes everyone fight to the death because he runs things, has henchmen, and is an ass hole. I bring this up because if me and Sprint where in this town, I’d gladly shoot them in the chest a few times.

Everyone (who matters anyway) is a baddass in this film. I’ll leave you with that remark a picture of Russel Crow. Oh and this guy was part of the film and really enjoyed it.

And now to go back to dealing with Sprint.. I really posted this so I didn’t have to look at that god dammed stupid cover of 21 dog years whenever I looked at my site.

Citizen Kane (The union forever)

The Union Forever
Words and Music by Jack White
Consists primarily of extracts from
The film “Citizen Kane” released in 1941
Written by Orson Welles and Herman J. Mankiewicz
This post mostly written by Patrick Ferris and stolen from Broken Bricks

*Update* A video showing a lot of these parallels.


It can’t be love `1
For there is no true love `2
It can’t be love
For there is no true love

Sure I’m C.F.K. `3
But you gotta love me `4
The cost, no man can say `5
But you gotta love me

Well, I’m sorry but I’m not interested in
Gold mines, oil wells, shipping or real estate `6
What would I liked to have been?
Everything you hate `7

‘Cause it can’t be love
For there is no true love
It can’t be love
For there is no true love

There is a man `8
A certain man
And for the poor you may be sure
That he’ll do all he can
Who is this one
Whose favorite son
Just by his action has the traction
Magnets on the run?
Who likes to smoke
Enjoys a joke
And wouldn’t get a bit upset
If he were really broke?
With wealth and fame
He’s still the same
I’ll bet you five he’s not alive
If you don’t now his name

You said, “The Union forever” `9
You said, “The Union forever”
You cried, “The Union forever”
But that was untrue, girl


`1 “It can’t be love”
Performed by Bob Haymes and The Vagabonds in 1944 (after “Citizen Kane”)

`2 “It can’t be love / For there is no true love”
SINGER: It can’t be love for there is no true love, no true love
I know I’ve played at the game like a moth in a blue flame
Lost in the end just the same, just the same
All these years my heart’s floating around in a paddle of tears

`3 “C.F.K.”
Charles Foster Kane

`4 “But you gotta love me”
Kane: Whatever I do, I do because I love you.
Susan: You don’t love me. You want me to love you. “Sure, I’m Charles Foster Kane. Whatever you want, just name it and
it’s yours. But you’ve gotta love me!”

`5 “The cost, no man can say”
NARRATOR: For wife two, one-time opera singing Susan Alexander, Kane built
Chicago’s Municipal Opera House. Cost — Three million dollars.
Conceived for Susan Alexander Kane, half-finished before she
divorced him, the still unfinished Xanadu. Cost — No man can

`6 “I’m sorry, but I’m not interested…”
COWORKER: It’s from Mr. Kane.
SECRETARY: “Sorry. But I’m not interested in gold mines, oil wells, shipping or real estate.”
THATCHER: Not interested?

`7 “What would I like to have been? / Everything you hate”
THATCHER: Yes, yes. But your methods! Do you know, Charles never made a single investment? Always used money to–
KANE: To buy things. Buy things. My mother should have chosen a less reliable banker. Well, I always gagged on that
silver spoon. You know, Mr. Bernstein, if I hadn’t been very rich, I might have been a really great man.
THATCHER: Don’t you think you are?
KANE: I think I did pretty well under the circumstances.
THATCHER: What would you like to have been?
KANE: Everything you hate.

`8 “There is a man…”
SINGER: Good evening, Mr. Kane. There is a man.
DANCERS: There is a man.
SINGER: A certain man.
DANCERS: A certain man.
SINGER: And for the poor you may be sure that he’ll do all he can. Who is this one?
DANCERS: Who is this one?
SINGER: This favorite son.
DANCERS: This favorite son.
SINGER: Just by his action has the traction magnets on the run. Who loves to smoke?
DANCERS: Who loves to smoke?
SINGER: Enjoys a joke.
DANCERS: Ha ha ha ha.
SINGER: Who wouldn’t get a bit upset if he were really broke. With wealth and fame
DANCERS: With wealth and fame
SINGER: He’s still the same.
DANCERS: He’s still the same.
SINGER & DANCERS: I’ll bet you five you’re not alive if you don’t know his name.
KANE: I don’t know how to dance.
SINGER: What is his name?
BERNSTEIN: What is his name?
DANCERS: It’s Charlie Kane.
EVERYONE: It’s Mr. Kane. He doesn’t like the Mister. He likes good old Charlie Kane.
SINGER: Who said the Miss
EVERYONE: Who said the Miss
SINGER: Was made to kiss?
EVERYONE: Was made to kiss?
SINGERL: And when he meets one always tries to do exactly this. Who buys the food?
EVERYONE: Who buys the food?
KANE & SINGER: Who buys the drinks?
EVERYONE: Who buys the drinks?
KANE & SINGER: Who thinks that dough was made to spend and acts the way he thinks?
SINGER: Now, is it Joe? No, no, no, no.
EVERYONE: No, no, no, no….

`9 “The Union forever”
KANE (as a child): Come on, boys! The Union forever!
MRS. KANE: Be careful, Charles!