Tag Archives: Funny
Dreamhost decided to revert my database back to just before I finished this post, effectively unpublishing it and returning the rest of my typos. I thankfully left it open in a browser on my laptop. So this post is now amazing, not because it's any good, but because it survived being put down like a sick dog. It gets to live.
I'm on hold trying to straiten out 3 of 4 billing snafus companies have me in. The first two were easy, this one Broadvoice is just not answering their phones and I can't get into their website. They do my business phone line and they can suck it.
I'll call them back later, Next up is Sprint who's been charging me for insurance even though I'm not eligible. This exact thing happened the last time I lost my phone. I figured they messed up and insured me anyway, and I was able to get a 3rd replacement phone, but only because they continued to charge me after I wasn't eligible. Don't ask about the other two, but the 3rd phone was lost at a concert. Oh.. faithless was worth it… but maybe not if they didn't replace my phone for $50 bucks. They made it very clear that they were being nice and I'd have to wait a long long while to be eligible for insurance again. (A year or two?) So while there's a chance I'm currently eligible, I haven't been all this time and they never stopped charging me.
Which allows me to convolutedly tie this all back to the title of this post and the very excellent movie.
The Quick and the Dead
Quick Story Overview
Gene Hackman is a misundersood former bandit who's given up his life of crime and settled in a failing town. He's taken over and provided it with a thriving entertainment industry. The problem is people in the town are bitter about his violent past and want to steal his money. They hire quick draw assassins to take him out so they can take his former ill gotten gains for themselves. This of course has made Gene Hackman paranoid and he has hired bodyguards to protect him and vital town locations like where he keeps his money, the clock tower, and the saloon.
He even lets his son Leonardo DiCaprio run the local gun store. They have a strained relationship but what father and son has never gone though a rough patch? Eventually Sharon Stone shows up and convinces them to fight to the death. They both die. The end.
Nah Most of that is lies. I'm really good at reciting movies, but I have to tell you it's a lot more fun to make shit up. The movie is good, really good. It’s a western about Sharon Stone coming back to avenge her father and most of the movie she’s like this;
And then at the end she suddenly becomes the 80s;
Which doesn’t break the movie, but not growing up watching Sharon Stone movies confused me a little. Apparently her hair is her thing.
Umm so Gene Hackman is a twisted baddass and makes everyone fight to the death because he runs things, has henchmen, and is an ass hole. I bring this up because if me and Sprint where in this town, I’d gladly shoot them in the chest a few times.
Everyone (who matters anyway) is a baddass in this film. I’ll leave you with that remark a picture of Russel Crow. Oh and this guy was part of the film and really enjoyed it.
And now to go back to dealing with Sprint.. I really posted this so I didn’t have to look at that god dammed stupid cover of 21 dog years whenever I looked at my site.
First off I wont finish this book, none of the reviewers or the author will probably mind. The book 21 Dog Years — Doing time @ amazon.com by Mike Daisey is funny, well written and mostly about Mike Daisey's love affair with the cult of amazon.com. I say mostly because I don't care to finish it and he's just as likely to join any other cult before the book ends. He starts off as a slacker with a degree in Aesthetics and works phones for amazon eventually. Somewhere in the middle he drinks the flavor-aid and as a trainee wants to make love to Jeff Bezos. Who in his defense is an attractive man.
I read about half the book, I'm just not going to share all of it with you. I'm also sure it shows more about how amazon internal politics and culture works. Everything I've read and seen about any of the big west coast tech companies makes me glad I live on the east coast. All that morning sun over the oceans turns them wacky.
The author is like Chuck Palahniuk of fight club fame. Choke, and Survivor are also good. I haven't gotten around to Invisible monsters yet because if I read too much of his writing I want to kill myself and I'd probably enjoy it or think it was funny. He's dark and ironic and funny. Mike Daisey is ironic and a little funny and tries to write with the same style. He failed it.
Mike Daisey, I didn't finish your book so I don't know if your girlfriend broke up with you over all the devotion you showed to amazon, or maybe how you left. I hope some where in there she did leave you. I don't like you, and I don't think you're very funny. I'm also happy you seem like the kind of guy who doesn't care.
PS This is probably one of my meanest book reviews ever, but I don't like the book. Also the fact the FISA Amendment Act passed hasn't quite hit me yet. Watch out America.
I think movable type is holding me back.
Anyway while I prepare a letter I wrote to be a news post (It was an answer to the question "How do I get my site onto Google?" which I over answered at work.) Enjoy this.
I found it from a post on reddit, but apparently it was done by cartoonist Clay Bennett. And I said enjoy, which means I think it's funny, but honestly I don't. I think the state of things is pretty sad when it comes to our rights to privacy I can't even goto work on time without giving the expatiation that I wont be randomly searched. Because if I refuse to be searched I have to leave the subway system. Still no legal recourse if I just enter at a different stop, that's hardly exercising your 4th amendment rights.
I some how came across an old comic called Chick Tract which is a comic by this intolerant artist Jack Chick. He's a Christian fundamentalist and his comics usually condemns other religions, even catholics. Here's the "tract" that caught my eye.
That Crazy Guy
"A physician appears and notifies Suzi that she has contracted a STD. The particular STD depends on the version ‚Äì in the 1980 version, it is herpes, while in the 1992 version, it is gonorrhoea. In the 1992 version, he then informs the victim that she also has AIDS and notes that condoms are porous and do not provide adequate protection against the virus that causes AIDS."
I am at sarah's. She is cool, and my girlfriend. She loves me. And wine. but maybe not as much as I love wine.
(that's sarah's laugh)
We just spend some time reading her old diaries from 1992, she says lots about herself from back then. Bad speller, angsty, named her diary chi-chi. It's interesting. I used to write stories about kids who had aliens kill them and then the ambulance would come and the doctors would bring them back to life. But sometimes the kids couldn't come back and the parents would be sad. I must have been like.. 4 or 5 years old.
They'd have me write a book in preeschool, now I don't remember it too well. but they would have me tell a story and they'd write it down, and I'd draw pictures and then write the story back in the book. It would be a blank hard cover.
(Sarah just brought up a great book called "Cloudy with a chance of meatballs" man I love that)
umm, dr Seuss is cool
ok that's enough of this blast from the past roborooter diary inspired by a 8 year old sarah. Good night.
PS little sarah liked hotdogs
One of my favorite directors (and I don't really care about directors) is Spike Jonze. He's mostly done music videos and commercials. I just found out that he did an Ikea ad that I found quite funny. So in honor of that…
I was told that link doesn't work (stupid quicktime) it should work now (stupid avi).
And while.. I have problems doing this I can recognize that this will be the easiest way to watch the movie for most people…
and when searching for that I found this sad spoof
I found this one on Rocketboom today.
You can find the origional and credits at rocketbooms site.
If you ever wanted to hear 500 hobo names, now you can.