Yea… what the fuck?

I had a nice little vacation this weekend.

I drove down to Rowan and left all of brooklyn behind. I even turned off my cell phone at one point. I don’t usually do that. But you know… I should more often. I guess most of my life is so hectic or… scattered -_” that when I do get to talk to someone important, someone I haven’t heard from it makes being at the ringer’s mercy almost worth it.

So I slept at night, hung out with my friends ate at diners, talked, drove and all sorts of things. It was really good to get away.

So now I’m home again. I voted (mocked the voting system as well, fraud is a funny thing), I unpacked, I attempted to start work on things (I have to reconcile my books, finish a website, work on some database, clean up my desk etc.) but I got cut short by friends showing up. It was good to hang out with Andrew I never see the guy anymore.

I’ve been… fed up, messed up. I’m back home, I’m not sleeping again (obviously looking at the time this is posted) and I just want to leave.

I don’t sleep, I don’t function well, I’m too tired to exercise, I can’t think strait, I can’t do anything.

Blah – I hate writing posts like this, it gets my parents (god and otherwise) all worried and honestly I hate complaining (both sides of it – sometimes people need to gripe or express things, but its not healthy to complain all the time – you don’t think about anything else). And then there’s what to do? Everyone feels there’s something that can be done. The answer isn’t anything specific, but anything is better then what I seem to be doing now. I try to follow the “Just do it” mantra but I haven’t actually been doing anything lately.

I’m taking time off school to work, I feel like taking time off work to.. escape. I’m not seeing my self heading the right direction.

I just need to fucking sleep at night.


4 thoughts on “Yea… what the fuck?

  1. i can associate with the sleep problems. either way too much (too tired all the time) or not enough. very weird. im taking valerian / melatonin now for a knockout when it gets really bad. works most of the time, and i get really intense dreams with that combo.

  2. hey, it was soooooooooooo good to talk to you. I have missed you. I hope you are ok! Anyway essay writing fun should be occuring now must write essay ahhhhhhh!!!!! Speak soon.

  3. I miss you too Ellie =)

    And I’ve been having odd dreams my self… I just have been have a *REALLY* hard time remembering them, and going to sleep.


  4. i want to kick your ass

    … just thinking of you. and thought i would let you know.

    this is kinda like spam, but in a more caring way…

    i only want to kick your ass because i love you ;)

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